What is the
Alien
Transformer?
No one has ever seen the Transformer itself - only the miraculously strange artifacts it leaves behind. We theorize that some kind of advanced technology is at work, which we call the Alien Transformer. It makes things .... DIFFERENT.
How was this phenomenon discovered?
It began with the discovery of a ceramic sculpture which I acquired in a "special" art studio for $20 (cheap). The artist described it as a cat, but this was no ordinary cat. This cat had legs, and a tail, and ... eyes, I think. In describing it to a research colleague, I said, "It's as if you sent a cat through some sort of alien transformer and it came out .... Different." My colleague heard the capital D in Different, and we simultaneously achieved enlightenment. We began our research: to locate and identify these rare and unusual objects which hint at alien interference.
What do you mean by different?
Don't think of it as different. Think of it as DIFFERENT. The Transformed are so alien, so weird, so.... DIFFERENT. The mutation may be so complete as to obliterate all similarities to the original form. Other times, traces of the genesis object may remain, and it is possible to discern the lineage of the object. There is nothing like the thrill of discovering a Transformed object. Once you have learned to recognize the hallmarks of Alien Transformation, you will begin to see these artifacts everywhere.
Where are these artifacts found?
Transformed things can turn up in the most mundane locations - yard sales, thrift stores, museums or basements. Are they deliberately planted for us to find? Accidentally lost by the aliens? Discarded as no longer useful?
Why do the aliens transform things?
We do not know. Are the transformations deliberate? An unintended consequence of transporting a terrestrial form to an alien dimension? Were they damaged in transit, or modified to exist in a parallel universe? Perhaps it is possible that what we believe to be a Transformed object is actually an alien being, attempting to disguise itself as part of our environment. For this reason, all collected Transformations should be carefully isolated in the home environment. Under no circumstances should they be kept in the same vicinity as any sort of twine.
What are some examples of Transformed things?
The Cat is one of the better artifacts, in that although it is disturbingly weird and alien, it also retains vestiges of the appearance of an actual cat. Perhaps the best way to explain is to refer you to the gallery of the Transformed. Like good art, pornography, and that thing you are looking for, you will know it when you see it.